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So you're running marathons but anal is too painful???   Grow up.
I run for a cause... ...cause I like medals !!
When you told him he doesn't need a six pack and he can eat whatever he wants  and now he's too fat too cheat
"Three weeks to flatten the curve!" It's been more than a year.... i missed two Marathon Mondays and my vagina  needs muscle memory
"I am a runner. Your approval is  not needed."     ~ Eliud Kipchoge
I hate when I turn my car on after work and the music starts blasting... and I'm like "whooooah big fella I'm not  the same person I was in the morning after a 10 miler
30s may be the new 20s but 9pm is  the new midnight
My manager: Why is your entire IG  story videos of you running after you  told me you were too sick to get  up and work this morning? Me: .....
Goggins this Goggins that...  The power of batteries is real!! Nobody  outlasts the energizer bunny
mfs be surprised asf when you're pretty and single        Just wait..... You'll see why I'm single
Autocorrect just changed "morning run" to "morning rum"....  Change of plans, guys.
I don't really have a plan.... I rely solely on caffeine, running and wine to get me through the day
Me: It's beautiful outside... 68 degrees and sunny.... Nothing can ruin this run My knee: Hey. Hey you fucking idiot
My issue with stretching is you have to keep doing it
Might get a little crazy tonight and  start a movie after 8:30
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