Why do I run: 1. burn off the crazy  2. 'cause I like to eat (a lot!)  3. MILFS
You have to give marathoners credit... There is no one else that runs  40 plus miles a week yet  still gain weight
"Pick it up" "I picked it up last time" "It was your idea to crew" "Fuck off"
Maybe if I sign up for a race and start a  new training program I'll be happy  Nope that wasn't it
Sometimes you just gotta down a GU, turn up the gangster rap and fuck yourself up for a few hours.   It's called self care.
Anyone else feeling guilty for not stretching but still not stretching lol
I'm not a regular mother. I'm a badass mother runner
Sundays are for long runs, true crime  & masturbation
I had such a bad run today.....I need your oral support. I mean moral support. No I don't
Waiter:  careful the food is hot  The food:
Moms who run 26.2 miles just for fun  should be feared by everyone
Reasons I do my long runs with a group 1. Friendship  2. Accountability 3. So I can bag a MILF
Shout out to all runners who will never qualify for Boston, we basic af but  we cute
Controlling your emotions during taper week is an extreme sport
Yeah, there's a 8 year old ahead of me but he doesn't get beer after the race
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