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Now I be like "oh shit I forgot my mask" like I'm Batman or something
Some guys have bigger boobs than  me but hey, that's life
Don't blame the quarantine, chubbs. You were 25 lbs overweight before you were locked down with  a pallet of snacks
I'm thankful cars were invented....  Imagine waking your horse up at 2AM to go get some dick
Being a runner is mf expensive
Day 62 of quarantine: I haven't run  a real race in 4 years
I look like I'm having deep thoughts, but 98% of the time  I'm thinking about what I am going  to eat next
You have to give marathoners credit...  There is no one else that runs 40 plus miles a week yet still gain weight
Is it just me or did EVERYONE just say fuck the rona this week? Lol
My brain: "Pass them " Me: "Why? " My brain: "You gotta "
Crazy how I used to get up at 5AM and  run 7 to 10 miles.... These days I won't even get up at 5AM to pee.  I will just lie there in pain.
*early morning run*  During the first mile: f*ck this,  I'm tired as f*uck  During the last mile:  f*ck yeah baby, that's  what I call a good run. I can't wait for tomorrow!!
Every pizza is a personal pizza  if you try hard enough and  believe in yourself
Literally no-one:  Me: I cant breathe in this gotdamn mask
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