1% of the population will run a  marathon in their lifetime; it's their obligation to talk about it so the  remaining 99% will know what they  are missing.
A banana is 105 Calories.  A glass of Prosecco is 80.   Choose wisely.
You used my Body Glide where?!?  Yeah, you go ahead and keep that.
Just so you're aware...  Between mile  20 and 26.2 I start to use the word  "F**k" like it's a comma.
You know who NEVER says "running  is really hard on your joints"?   People who actually run.
I ran... and my house is clean. One of these is a lie.
There's no place like home.  To poop.
Things only runners understand... Sizing up every street, path or alley for its potential as a running route.
Just ice it... You'll be fine.  Said every runner ever.
The Track: Where you go to run in circles in order to make progress.
When you decline all social invitations on Friday nights because your long runs are on Saturday mornings...
Those 3 days after your marathon where you regret  laughing at the "life alert" lady.  "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
How many times do I have to tell you, it's not a hill it's an incline!
You know you're a runner when...  you are looking forward to a girls  weekend that includes a half-marathon!
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