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TRIATHLON  Why suck at only one sport when  you can suck at three
Done with my Ironman training and now  I have time to spend with my family.  They seem like good people.
Which is the longest?  A) a microwave minute  B) a treadmill minute  C) a hangover minute
What's something you can say  during a run AND in the bedroom?
I don't know who needs to hear  this, but if your dog is fat, you  ain't getting enough exercise
I really be waking up tired... like wtf did i even sleep for???
The only fantasy i have in the bedroom these days is getting eight hours of  sleep
Alpha females don't run in packs.  She is often alone. Keeps her circle small. Knows her powers and works  in silence.
Fact of the day. Waiting in line to use the pre-race porta-potty takes twice as long as it takes Jeff Bezos to fly into space. Interesting.
Wow y'all really think a 40 min run on the  treadmill is long? it's 4 ten mins, grow up
The air is so full of sanitizer that I'm not even getting dirty thoughts  these days
I did like 5 squats today so if you catch  me being a little thick tomorrow don't  be alarmed
You officially become a runner when  you have more medals than close  friends
Tag the person you have the best  running memories with
Does anyone actually know what  you're supposed to do when people are yelling "You're almost there" at mile 5 in a marathon?
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