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That awkward moment when you  finally realize being a "skirt chaser" now means you are lagging behind  a mom and her baby in a 5k.
I always run negative splits when I  train. I go out too fast and feel real negative on the last split.
People who tolerate me on days when  I haven't had my run...  They're the real heroes.
If you love women who run long  distance, raise your glass... If not,  raise your standards.
SEVERE COLD WEATHER WARNING * people are being told to stay inside unless going out is  completely necessary * runners are being  told to wear a hat
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
A route that you've driven hundreds of times never seems HILLY, until you're running it. What (and I cannot stress this enough) the f*ck.
RUNNING OXYMORONS: *easy five miles *"only" a half marathon *humble marathoner *sanitary porta potty *ten perfect toenails *pre-run stretches *fast recovery YIKES!!
*Taper Crazies* No one: Absolutely no one: Not even my dog: Me:  shut the fuck up
I was born to be wild, but only until  9pm or so.
I wish retail therapy was covered by  my health insurance.
Friends don't let friends do long runs alone.
Just changed my Instagram name to  "NO_ONE" so when I see stupid posts  I can click like and it will say  "NO_ONE liked your photo"
You know you're a runner when... A race on the calendar = peace of mind
Honey, you think it's tough getting  into a sport bra, wait until you  try to take it off after  an hour of sweating!
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