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I'm actually the meanest person if I don't get my run in. I would literally yell shut up to anything that is making noise
If dad bods can be okay, can we lower the standards for females? Shit I like beer and food too
Why do marathoners get so triggered when you call them joggers
Welcome to your third week of marathon training. Breakfast is ibuprofen
My body has absorbed so much sanitizer that when I pee, it cleans the toilet
Y'all please be careful out there cause these people with no AC driving fast af!
I'm tired and hungry. Headphones are dead. It's hot. F*CK IT. Time to lace up and run
My morning run was breathtaking. Not the views, just in general
This is the first year I'm not running Boston marathon because of Covid-19 Normally, I'm not running it because I can't qualify
Not sure if I have a strong immune system or just don't go to the gym enough
Friend: I'm so happy it finally feels like summer... Me after 0.2 miles: *I wish I could put my titties in a ponytail*
When someone who smokes and drinks tries to tell you to cut sugar from your diet because it's "unhealthy"
Coach: "The warm up should be nice and easy to help get blood moving and up your heart rate" Me after every warm up:
Wow. Coronavirus is saving me from another DNF. Thank you
I workout because it's good for me. Also, because I like to eat. A lot.
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