That moment when you realize it's  a rest day... and you just don't know what to do with your life anymore
"Why do VEGANS want their food to look like meat?" For the same reason people use dildos. Looks the same,  feels the same, fills a  hole, no hearts are  broken in the  process
January 1st 2020 me and July 1st  2020 me are two VERY different people
Most of being a runner in 90F weather  is whispering "f*ck this" while going for a run anyway
"I'm a fu*king 7x26.2.......... If he not tapping out I'm not tapping out either... I will die on the dick"
This no #afterdarkebibs shit gettin  boring... I'm ready to get yelled at for  what i post
My body has absorbed so much  sanitizer that when I pee, it cleans the toilet
Pretty wild how we used to eat cake  after someone had blown on it... Good times.
"No mask on your face          You big disgrace      Spreading your germs          All over the place!"
Joggers bounce up and down at  red lights. Runners just stand there,  looking pissed
Friendly reminder: getting in shape is hard, being in shape is awesome.  Commit to it.
Therapist: and what do you say to the  people who unfollow you cause you post only about running? Me: stay mad hoe Therapist: actually yes lmfao
Me: *rests for twenty seconds*  No one:  Literally no one:  My Garmin: MOVE!!
No suicidal shit but I think I'm ready  for a runcation
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