Who normalized having sex at night?! I started my day with a killer workout  and now at my bedtime you're saying  "ok now physical activity"  ummm.... No
Your legs can reach upon somebody's son shoulders but when it's time to  pick up the pace you complain
A true running friend waits for you when you need to take a dump mid-run
"Why do you run every day?" Me: So I'm less of an asshole
She didn't get to run Boston just to fake  an orgasm.... Stay hard mfs !!
My friend: "My track workouts are not that hard, you won't die or anything"  Me after:
Name a better feeling than going for  a run you almost canceled and it ends  up being amazing
26 POINT FRICKIN TWO. Because my kids deserve a mother  they can brag about.
I nut too quick for a threesome, one  of y'all ain't getting a turn
If your hubby is not a runner you're single to me
I overthink. I overtrain. I overeat.
The truth is you can always run faster  but sometimes the truth hurts
I'm 1% human and 99% tired
How influencers begin every sentence: "Guys..guys!! ......Guys!!!! I'm so freakin' excited!!"
I like running by myself so I can replay 1 song 67 times with no complaints
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