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Some people can eat everything and not gain a pound. I click "Like" on a picture of pizza and gain 5 pounds.

I hate when people ask me what I'm doing over the weekend because "running 10-20 miles" makes me sound boring AND cocky at the same time.

Took me an hour and a half of motivational self-talk to make it to the gym for a treadmill run that lasted 44 seconds. How's your day going

Does anyone actually know what you're supposed to do when people are yelling "You're almost there" at mile 5 in a marathon?

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Trying to get in shape and maybe running 5 days a week, it's often called OBSESSIVE.. So sitting at home watching TV seven days a week isn't?

If you think you can just win me over with some running shoes and a puppy... you're damn right.

If you went on vacation and didn't bring home a medal, did you even go on vacation?

Do you ever try to breathe quieter while running up a hill so the others couldnot hear you fighting for your life?

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My therapist: Learn a lesson from your dog.. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh*t and move on.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your dog is fat, you ain

FACTS. There's no place like home. To poop.

I don't mind coming to work, but this eight-hour wait to go home is really starting to mess with my running schedule

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I think it's weird how some days I feel skinny and some days I feel like a busted can of biscuits.

I want to delete all my socials and disappear but I'll be bored

If you believed me when I said I'm not going to drink after my run, that's on you

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