eBibs

My body has absorbed so much sanitizer that when I pee, it cleans the toilet
Finished my run. And my stopwatch was off the whole time
I'm not sure if people driving by are staring at me because I'm running, or because I'm talking to myself.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Hey, guys! Let's just keep the little sock secret between us...okay?
Trying to get in shape and maybe running 5 days a week, it's often called OBSESSIVE.. So sitting at home watching TV seven days a week isn't?
Not sure if I'm out of shape... or I just suck.
During sex you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles. Who the f**k runs 5 miles in 30 seconds??
I really wish we had subtitles in real life because I really don't be hearing shit
Me: *saves $20 from not eating out* Me: I think I'll reward myself by buying this $160 running shoes
Of COURSE it's a coincidence that there is a race (with a really cool medal) in the same place I planned our vacation!
WARNING. I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake.. Which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore. So proceed with caution.
Remember when Pandemic was a Netflix series and not a Virtual Race Series
The Beer Mile: A four-lap, four-beer race where boys become men and men puke in the bleachers behind the track.
How long was your run? *GPS says 3.87 miles* Me: About 4 miles
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