eBibs

NO ONE: LITERALLY NO ONE: ME: "Should I find a race for this weekend?"
Therapist: are you sexually active? Me: I'm running the Majors Therapist: a simple "no" is fine
One day I will solve my problems with maturity. But until then, it will be with caffeine, wine and a shitload of miles!
*scrolling Instagram happily* *remembers tomorrow is Monday* *scrolling Instagram stressfully*
I've been trying to diet and work out but I've come to the realization that the only way I'm going to get "smokin' hot" is by being cremated
Therapist: Are you sexually active? Me: I signed up for an Ironman Therapist: a simple "No" is fine
Teach your children the joy of running and they'll never have enough money to buy drugs.
You know you're a runner when... you see a sign on the highway telling how many miles an exit is and you think "I could run that!"
Coronavirus this coronavirus that... can we talk about my virtual race for a second??
You know you're a runner when... you don't stretch. But you know you should.
I'm sorry if I don't wave or smile back at you while I'm running. It's just that I'm trying very hard to not die.
I NEVER DRINK! I just disinfect my internal running injuries.
I plan on having such an awesome run, Morgan Freeman should narrate it.
Imagine you get murdered while out for a run and some girl skips your episode of forensic files because it's boring
News: "The coronavirus can only be spread by human contact" My trail running introvert ass: "I'm safe as F*ckkkkk"
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