eBibs

A blue whale's anus can stretch to approximately 3 and a 1/2 feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet, just behind the bikers on the running and walking trail
"You do not have to pee." Lies I tell myself while running.
I skip instagram stories too fast and I end up voting on things by accident so I'm sorry if I said your dog was ugly
The only field goals I'm looking forward too are found on the trails...
I ran... and my house is clean. One of these is a lie.
"Going for a run is my favorite part of the day. I really look forward to it." "Tell me you're depressed without telling me you're depressed."
The tree in 20 feet or the port-a-potty in over a mile?
Tag the person you have the best running memories with
Start long run on the treadmill - look at the watch after a while. 3 MINUTES PASSED.
Life would've been better if all your running friends were your neighbors
The truth is you can always run faster but sometimes the truth hurts.
So if I go running in the morning just to burn enough calories to make up for my drinking at night, does that make me a runner or an alcoholic?
The air is so full of sanitizer that I'm not even getting dirty thoughts these days
*googles "How To Run with a Stress Fracture"
When you decline all social invitations on Friday nights because your long runs are on Saturday mornings...
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