eBibs

I'm the kind of person who's 100% down for spontaneous crazy long runs, but also 100% down to lay in bed all day
Fun fact: a blue whale’s anus can stretch to approximately 3 and a half feet, making it the second largest asshole on the planet, just behind irresponsible mountain bikers
"It could be drugs," I whisper to myself as I buy another pair of running shoes on an extremely tight budget. "At least it's not drugs."
Body: sexy Feet: f*cked
I'm a firm believer that running makes you prettier, it's a noticeable glow
F*ck it. Just start quoting running cliches in the comments
Me in the winter: I don't do well with the lack of sun and cold Me in the spring: I don't do well with allergies while things around me thrive Me in the summer: I suffer in the heat and humidity like a dying hog Me for the two weeks of...
If you see me running more than usual that means I have a lot of stuff I need to be doing and I'm trying to avoid doing it
Here's the thing... REAL runners don't post every single mile on Instagram. That's how everyone knows you're a rookie
Pro tip: Seasoned runners don't need to map their miles on Insta. They're too busy breaking in their next pair of shoes. Newbies, on the other hand, are GPS- checking their every step to brunch
Posting motivational quotes on Instagram won't make you faster, but it might annoy all your friends enough to block you. Then no one will know how slow you are.
I called the cops on my own party last night because I was ready to go to bed
Me after Chicago Marathon: this muscle soreness can't possibly get any worse Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness: Ohhhh just wait b*tch, there is more !!
TYPES OR RUNNING INJURIES • 1% fell down or turned my ankle • 99% I feel unusually good I'm going to run a little longer and maybe run a little faster. Wow I feel grrrea...WTF?? NOOOO, I OVER DID IT!!!
You could sleep in on Sunday. Or, you could drag your ass over 26.2 miles just for a medal, t-shirt, and a beer. Welcome to the insanity!!
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