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Me: I'm not competitive... it's only  a tempo run    Other Me:  f*cking destroy them
Me: *saves $20 from not eating out*  Me: I think I'll reward myself by buying this $160 running shoes
Anyone else reached that age where  you gain weight if you breathe
I either go for a run or I eat all the groceries I bought for the week.  There's no in-between
Running Shoes: buy us  Me: yes master
The older I get, the earlier it gets late
Something only a runner would understand... Traveling somewhere  new to run a race IS a vacation !!
Marry the one who buys you running shoes... They last longer than flowers.
Tip: If you aren't happy with your race times, try running a little bit faster
FACT: In our lifetimes, we will spend 3 yrs waiting in line for a port-a-potty  and 5 yrs picking out the  perfect selfie to post  on social media
Can't put my finger on what I'm in  the mood for.... Could it be donuts?  A quick run? An orgasm?  Amazon shopping? idk
According to my calorie intake, I need  to be on the treadmill for two years
Treadmill: hi  Me: no thank you
1. DENIAL  2. ANGER  3. BARGAINING  4. DEPRESSION  5. ACCEPTANCE  *my stages of getting  ready for treadmill
I ran... and my house is clean.  One of these is a lie.
*IT band still sore AF* No one: Ibuprofen: I got you babe
I wish we could have subtitles in real life bc i really can't hear anything anyone is saying to me while running  up a hill
My superpower? I change from "pretty girl" to "hot, panting, smelly  wad of hair and sweat" in  under 30 minutes.  Wanna see?
Dear autocorrect, it's never cold as "duck"
Day 4 with no running:  I've lost hearing in my right eye
Y'all looove skinny runners until y'all cuddling and they get lost in the cover like a remote
Just once I would like to make it through an entire hill workout without having a WTF moment
*Me.Every.Single.Race* Not sure if runner's high or if about  to pass out.
Some people can eat everything and  not gain a pound. I click "Like" on a  picture of pizza and gain 5 pounds.
I hate when people ask me what  I'm doing over the weekend because  "running 10-20 miles" makes me  sound boring AND cocky  at the same time.
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