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Welcome to your third week of  marathon training.  Breakfast is ibuprofen
My body has absorbed so much  sanitizer that when I pee,  it cleans the toilet
Y'all please be careful out there cause  these people with no AC driving fast af!
I'm tired and hungry. Headphones are  dead. It's hot. F*CK IT. Time to  lace up and run
My morning run was breathtaking.  Not the views, just in general
This is the first year I'm not running  Boston marathon because of Covid-19 Normally, I'm not running it  because I can't qualify
Not sure if I have a strong immune  system or just don't go to the gym  enough
Friend: I'm so happy it finally feels  like summer... Me after 0.2 miles: *I wish I could put  my titties in a ponytail*
Dudes be like:   "So sorry about your  race..... I'm always here if you need a shoulder to cry on" The shoulder:
When someone who smokes and drinks  tries to tell you to cut sugar from your  diet because it's "unhealthy"
Coach: "The warm up should be nice  and easy to help get blood moving  and up your heart rate" Me after every warm up:
Wow. Coronavirus is saving me from  another DNF. Thank you
I workout because it's good for me.  Also, because I like to eat. A lot.
Therapist:  F*ck anyone who  doesn't like running    Me: Wow, that's a lot of sex
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