New Featured eBibs

Can boys please stop claiming to  be kinky when all they're gonna do is  say "you like that" and smack your  ass like three times
No one:  Me tasting my own food: "Bro you've outdone yourself this time"
Government: "Only go outside for emergencies"  People's emergencies:  "I wanted donuts"
After seeing how the public panics  over Coronavirus, I can see why the  government would never tell us about "them Aliens"
Me posting nonsense will continue  during lockdown because it's an Essential Service
I share shit about sex way too much  for someone who's only getting f*cked  by running injuries
Remember you are someone's  reason to smile.  Because your marathon PR is a joke
We're officially changing the term from "side boy" to "non-essential dick"
Me: My Insta crush liked my photo  Friend: How'd you meet him? Me: Through a mutual  virtual race account
MY THERAPIST: It seems like you  fall in love too easily  ME: What babe?
Pro tip: Be so fast that everyone forgets that you are ugly
I need hugs.... When this is over I'm  gonna hug every motherfucker I see
Trying to decide if I should run my  feelings today or eat them
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