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Him:  How do you know this dude?  Me:  Oh him... your inconsistency introduced us
Hun, I broke the lamp. "Why?" Bc nobody shines  brighter than me
*me after EVERY. SINGLE. RUN* Let's talk about cal-o-ries Let's talk about wine and cheese Let's talk about all the tacos  and the pizza I may eat  Let's talk about SNACKS
She calls me Daddy in the sheets & Slow MF in the streets
When you're at a normal people party and no one wants to talk about the marathon you're training for
Up late thinking about how nice my  ass is
I have faced more peer pressure to run a marathon than to do drugs
I don't run through injury – that would  be stupid. I simply refuse to believe the  injury exists. That's tooootally different
imagine not liking me back....me....a beautiful intelligent hilarious  phenomenal runner... tragic
Sleeping doesn't help this kind of tired anymore
**ULTRARUNNING** Because 26.2 is for pussies....  In real sports you go until your  organs start shutting down
"Do you moan or cuss"  Depends what flavor the GU is but usually both
Does anyone else whisper "what the  fuck" to themselves at least 57 times in the first 2 miles or is it just me
I seriously don't think you understand  how much I fccking love running
When she says being on top is "too  hard" but you've seen her running  26.2 with ease
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