1% of the population will run a  marathon in their lifetime; it's their obligation to talk about it so the  remaining 99% will know what they  are missing.
A banana is 105 Calories.  A glass of Prosecco is 80.   Choose wisely.
You used my Body Glide where?!?  Yeah, you go ahead and keep that.
Just so you're aware...  Between mile  20 and 26.2 I start to use the word  "F**k" like it's a comma.
I ran... and my house is clean. One of these is a lie.
You know who NEVER says "running  is really hard on your joints"?   People who actually run.
There's no place like home.  To poop.
Things only runners understand... Sizing up every street, path or alley for its potential as a running route.
Just ice it... You'll be fine.  Said every runner ever.
When you decline all social invitations on Friday nights because your long runs are on Saturday mornings...
The Track: Where you go to run in circles in order to make progress.
How many times do I have to tell you, it's not a hill it's an incline!
Those 3 days after your marathon where you regret  laughing at the "life alert" lady.  "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
You know you're a runner when...  you are looking forward to a girls  weekend that includes a half-marathon!
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