I don't always have time to fold and

put away the laundry, but when I do, 

I go for a run.
eBib text : I don't always have time to fold and put away the laundry, but when I do, I go for a run.

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Girl when first meeting me: "How are you out of shape when you run all  the time?"   *watches me eat*  Her: "Ah"
Genetics don't wake you up at 5am  to get shit done
At the end of the day it's all about who you wanna own a dog with
Me stepping out the door, ready to  burn 240 calories after consuming  12,700 over the weekend
I would be willing to pay $250/month for an extra 1000 calories a day that didn't count.   Your move, Science.
Happiness is going for a run and  realizing you broke a toxic cycle
Marathon training day 128,  day 92 without sex. Went running in flip flops just to remember the sound.
When everybody at the family function refers to running as "that jogging thingy you do"
The struggle lies not in running all   the miles, but in getting the damn  sports bra off
No matter how good you feel on your run... there will always be a woman pushing a stroller that's running faster than you
I don't always have time to fold and put away the laundry, but when I do,  I go for a run.
PERSON: wow you ran 17 marathons..  8 ultras, you must be so healthy! ME:  *caffeine-addicted* *chronically tired* *occasional binge-eating* *shin stress-fractures*  "Haha yeah idk it's just a lifestyle at this point"
I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm 100% never going to qualify for Boston.
Nobody has seen you at your ugliest like your running friends have
IMPORTANT REMINDER *You're a great runner *Training  for a marathon is hard af  *This won't last forever *This happened to other  runners *You're not alone *It will get better *This is  normal *Training for a  marathon is hard af (aga...
If you wanna impress me with your  car... it better be a food truck
You guys ever just stare at your legs  and be like “these babies can run so many miles”?
"wHaT dO yOur BuMper sTiCkers  wiTh randOm deCimals MeAn?" they mean I'm fucking cool ok
I used to be able to drink all weekend. Now, a night of drinking requires more recovery time than my last marathon.
There's no place like home.  To poop.
Anyone else trying to guess the  pace of a runner as they pass you?  Yeah same
There's a new sex position called "9" It's just me... laying there... I don't have a sex life... I'm "in training"
Whenever I see someone running  faster than me I say "They're not going as far" –takes the sting out of it
I'm not sure if people driving by are staring at me because I'm running, or because I'm talking to myself.
A banana is 105 Calories.  A glass of Prosecco is 80.  Choose wisely !!
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