I had set three goals for myself going into the Las Vegas Marathon: to finish, to do so in under three hours, and to qualify for Boston. With a time of 2:59:09, I accomplished them all. For the first 24 miles I felt so good and strong—it was exhilarating! The last two miles were a different story. I suffered a painful exhaustion throughout my entire body. Fortunately, I did not slow down more than a minute per mile during that phase.

The marathon is an exceptional event that illuminates and reveals much; a stark contrast to the staid nature of day-to-day living. And yet, to fully comprehend and benefit from these revelations requires conscious reflection and musing on our part. Which is to say, post-race reflection is critical and necessary for those hoping to improve their performance in later races.

As with any great accomplishment, I have enjoyed the many congratulations from friends, and even myself. This fruit should be savored for all that it is but I find it can be a dangerous trap, too. Indulging only in feelings of a self-congratulatory nature leaves no room for those far less pleasant, yet highly necessary questions of a more critical kind. Did I put everything out on the course?  When I hit the wall, did I give in to the desire to slow, stop, or do anything less than my all?  What aspects of my performance could be improved by modifying my training? How will my experience in this race impact how I prepare for the next one?

I think in some ways post-race feelings are similar to survivor’s guilt. Just as a survivor questions whether they truly did everything they possibly could to have saved those who did not make it, I find I must replay and rummage through all the specific bits of evidence to ensure I did indeed do my best. With this last race, specifically, I simply have to remember the last quarter of a mile when I was starting to make audible sounds as I rasped for air. All I wanted to do was stop. My body ached all over. Instead I picked up speed and actually regained my earlier pace. This incredible exertion took its toll as I was as emotionally taxed as I was physically. In an uncontrollable moment, my emotions took over and I began to sob between breaths. The tears coursed down my cheeks as I spotted the finish. I finished having given my all.

With respect to my training, I know that I need to increase my overall mileage from week to week. My speed was fine but my endurance needs some work if I am to avoid such levels of exhaustion (though I have yet to successfully avoid such feelings during a marathon). The Las Vegas marathon was also relatively flat, and the Boston marathon is not. I must prepare for my next marathon by including hill work (repeated runs up steep hills). I have put together my new training plan and have included such hill climbs.

I am always impressed by the lack of energy I feel in this recovery period but such feelings give me the opportunity to slow down and assess where I have been and where I am going. Such a valuable gift is made possible by the total exertion given in the race. My thoughts now look to the next.