RUNNING OXYMORONS: *easy five miles *"only" a half marathon *humble marathoner *sanitary porta potty *ten perfect toenails *pre-run stretches *fast recovery YIKES!!
eBib text : RUNNING OXYMORONS: *easy five miles *"only" a half marathon *humble marathoner *sanitary porta potty *ten perfect toenails *pre-run stretches *fast recovery YIKES!!
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Doctor: No running for 5 weeks Me & Lil Nas X: Can't nobody tell me nothiiiiiin'
If I'm pausing my Garmin during a run just to reply to you...you won. Don't ever question my loyalty
Shoutout to everyone who got through the day without taking a nap... Pulled an all-dayer today. Pretty rough
I looove wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face?? Am I looking at you butt? No one knows.
Liquor is better than weed cause I ian't never bought a bottle of bullshit
My body asked for a rest day and I went for a 5 mile run because nobody tells me what to do
I love fast drivers, like yes kill us pls
If you are reading this........ you're not running.... So please stop scrolling and fix your fucking posture you look like a croissant
Do you know 14 muscles are activated when opening a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion
WARNING: I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake. Which means I'm sober I'm cranky and I'm sore So proceed with caution
Why do professional athletes think i should care about what they think? If i wanted advice from someone who chases a ball, I'd ask my dog.
"My only talent is that I just don't quit." ~David Goggins
When you're full of confidence it confuses people who are full of shit
I'm at that age.... Once I lay down... It's OVER!!
I did like five squats today so if you catch me being a little thicc tomorrow don't be alarmed
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