I used to feel an unbearable pressure to appear a certain way. So much so, I became borderline anorexic. My thoughts went something like this: It’s okay to eat an apple today, but only half. I need to cut back anyways… I had entered in to a toxic relationship where image was my god and love was conditional.
My mind was slowly killing my body. I didn’t realize how desperately I needed an endorphin release. Endorphins, in layman’s terms, are those peptides in the brain that react with our opiate receptors in order to raise our pain threshold and cause pleasure or euphoria. Like a “runner’s high.” Which was just what I needed to get my life back on track. Literally. I needed to run on the track.
I didn’t grow up as an experienced runner, nor did I have any previous interest. It was simply this deep desire to lose weight that first got me started. Of course, this can be a healthy motivation, as long as you aren’t sick like I was. Luckily for me, the more I ran, the healthier I got; thanks to the endorphin release I was able to experience, which allowed my mind to escape its loud echoes of criticism and doubt. Not that it happened immediately. Becoming a runner took time. When I first started, my body was weak and unhealthy. My bones were brittle, my muscles weren’t tone, and my mind was unclear. I experienced side cramps, stomach aches, headaches, feelings of exhaustion and leg pain. All common reasons why some beginning runners claim to “hate” running. But the key was to keep going; which I did. And as I persisted, the pressure that’d been weighing me down lifted. As my lungs breathed in more air I began to feel more free. Eventually I was running so much my body required more fuel to keep it up and I got back to a healthy weight. And as I transitioned from anorexia to runner the less of a chore and the more of a deep desire running became.
Everyone is different, but if you’re thinking about giving running a try, I can promise if you start and keep at it, you will get better. The human body is a miraculous creation. Many people begin their running journey and lose heart because they feel they aren’t making any progress. Let me tell you something, taking one running step rather than none is progress! It’s only in not trying that no progress can be made.
“In order to finish you must start.” -Nike