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Me when the smallest inconvenient  thing happens in my life
How long are you supposed to rest in between mile repeats? Like 6 months?
PERSON: wow you ran 17 marathons  4 ultras...you must be soooo healthy   ME:  *caffeine-addicted, chronically  tired, occasional binge-eating,  shin stress-fractures*  "Haha yeah idk it's just  a lifestyle at this point"
I don't always roll a joint, but  when I do it's my ankle
You used my Squirrel's Nut Butter where?!?? Yeah you go ahead and  keep that
He's a 10 but he's a marathoner on the streets and a sprinter in the sheets
Petition to start parties at 5:45 so I can  be in bed by 8:30.... Marathon season is upon us !!
The first 2 miles don't count if you  have anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person
I have faced more peer pressure to run  a marathon than to do drugs
"Your marathon time could be a lot  better if you just ran faster"     –Sir Mo Farah
Smile if you made somebody run a race with you
I swear the happiest part of the day  is when I'm running
Me: wow this recovery run really makes me appreciate the easy days  My mind: destroy him  Me: but–  My mind: I said f*cking destroy him
When is too late to have a baby shower? Because my mom never had one when she was pregnant with me and I need some running gear
Friendly reminder that you are not the only one that must end your run on  a whole number
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