Why does it take two weeks to take off

three pounds and only two days to 

gain 'em back?
eBib text : Why does it take two weeks to take off three pounds and only two days to gain 'em back?

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THE ROAD. It's a good listener
NETFLIX: Are you still there ME: yeah mf till April 30th
I just went outside and lemme just say, THAT RUN HIT DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S ILLEGAL
I don't know who needs to hear this...  but you don't gain anything from stressing. Remember that
I am fed up of masturbating can we  PLEASE wrap this shit up
Imagine surviving all that unprotected sex only to die from an unprotected  handshake
me two weeks ago: "Holy shit, Boston Marathon is canceled"  me now: "Holy shit, I'm unemployed"
Can y'all just stay inside?  I got shit to do in June
Home treadmill in 2019: frowned upon Home treadmill in 2020: encouraged
Email notification: "Be on the lookout, your running gear arrives Thursday"   Me: WHEN IS THAT
My mind:  get up and take a shower My body:  who gonna see you tho
Isolation update:  everyone has their windows open and someone in the  building next to mine was having  sex and she came super loud  and then a bunch of people  cheered lmao
(18 months from now) ME (weeping): it's so beautiful  STRANGER: ma'am this is the  longest porta-potty line EVER ME (weeping harder): I KNOW
When you wake up with throat pain and cough in the morning "My time has come"
Medals don't impress me.... Unless they are my medals
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